It’s almost like cats are psychic. On the day of the vet they’re nowhere to be found, no matter how much you prepare in advance. You can call them in your sweetest voice, but nada. And how do they know you’re getting out the treats when they are on a different floor in another part of the house? Even when you’re doing your best to hide it?
You may not realize it, but even without words, you are speaking to your cat…and they are responding. If you don’t like their response, perhaps you are sending out a message you didn’t intend.
So I’m here to help you learn how to speak cat.
Cat Language Basics
The first thing you need to know about speaking cat is that while they don’t understand human language (except for a few words like “treats” and “dinner”), they can still know what you are saying.
They know what’s behind those words that they don’t understand — voices, routines, and patterns. And that’s the important part because your words and intention don’t always match.
With cats, communication is a package, not a sentence. Your cat hears the words, but they also notice who is speaking, the tone and volume of the voice, where you are looking, how quickly you are moving, whether your body is tense, and what usually happens next. It’s the nonverbal cues that are most important to a cat.
Cats are masters of body language
Because they are both predator and prey in the wild, cats take nothing in their surroundings for granted. They can read the room (or backyard or forest) like a pro and they sense what you’re thinking even before you open your mouth. And there’s one thing they understand very well about humans.
Humans anticipate what they are about to do or say
Before you do or say something, you have to think it. And other thoughts lead up to the thought that inspires your words or actions. Your breathing changes, your shoulders raise or fall. Your eyes dart around the room. You move in dozens of different, unconscious ways.
You may not have noticed it in yourself. But your cat has. Every single thing. Your cat knows your next move before you even realize you’ve begun signaling it.
Some cat senses are far better than human senses.
A cat’s senses of smell and hearing are built for catching prey and avoiding danger. These are matters of life and death, so they are some of a cat’s most powerful tools.
You may think you’re being quiet. And sure, your partner or roommate may not hear you. But your cat can! Yes, even from rooms away. And they can smell chicken the moment you walk in the door with a bucket of fried chicken. Even if they’re in a completely different part of the house.
Then there’s the magic of whiskers. They help cats detect nearby objects, air movement, and changes in the space immediately around them in a way that humans don’t experience.
With all these cat superpowers it’s easy for them to figure out what you are about to do. They can evaluate what most people, including strangers, want from them in a split second. And since you are their human, they have lived with and learned all your cues and routines.
Your cat may know you even better than you know yourself.
How to Communicate With Your Cat So They Understand You
To learn how to speak with your cat, you need to become aware of everything you are doing before you say a word.
Learning your own language
Can you remember the last time you tried to get your cat to the vet? How anxious were you? What physical things happen when you have anxiety? What about your breathing, body movements, fidgeting? Are your muscles scrunched up?
Your cat is reading all these signals, and more. And they don’t like what they are saying. And if you behave that way every time you take them to the vet, these signs are all too familiar to them.
Clearly, you don’t want to make your cat anxious and frightened, but that’s exactly what you are doing without meaning to.
Learn to listen to your own body and your own responses to events around you. And learn how to modify your reactions so you can communicate what you want, not just send out what you are feeling.
Human behavior modification
If you can learn to modulate what is going on inside of you, the signals you send out will be clearer and less emotional.
- Acknowledge how you feel. Before you can modify what you’re presenting, you need to know what is going on inside you first.
- Examine it like it doesn’t belong to you. If you’re nervous or overexcited, you don’t have to own it or be consumed by it. It’s a reaction usually caused by overthinking. It only becomes an issue when you identify with it.
- Learn techniques like breath work that will help regulate your emotional state. Slow breathing to a count of four in and out is really helpful. Do a little research and find the techniques that work the best for you.
- However you are interacting with your cat, it’s a regular part of your life, and you don’t have to make it a big deal. Even the things you only do a few times a year. The more matter of fact you are, the less likely your cat will respond negatively.
Did you notice how little of this involved your cat until the very end? Clear communication, with your cat or anyone else, involves a bit of inner work and preparation.
Speak to your cat with intention
Cats don’t understand language…but they do understand intention. Very well. While they may not understand the literal meaning of a sentence, but everything surrounding it makes it clear to them. This includes your voice, posture, movements, emotional state, familiar routines, and what has happened after similar words in the past.
This is why you put in the inner work first. If you speak to your cat, but your voice is shaking, it means something completely different than when you’re smiling and saying the very same words. Without that inner work, it’s harder to modulate the way you say things.
For example, if you say to a cat, “I want to help you,”and you say it sincerely and with love, they will understand it differently than if you grit your teeth and say it. Their response may still be no, but you may not have the kind of struggle you would if your emotions get the better of you.
Don’t expect an instant yes
That’s right, just because you worked on your communication skills, it doesn’t mean your cat will instantly respond the way you want. Your cat may not change their behavior right away, but you’ll be taking away a lot of the drama, and over time, your relationship with your cat will improve in the areas you’ve found the hardest.
How Your Cat Communicates With You
In the same way you are learning more about your inner responses, learning about your cat’s also helps.
How to tell whether your cat is listening
You may think your cat isn’t listening to you, but they are. An ear or whisker twitch tells you. You may think your cat is mad at you because they’re facing away from you, but they’re really holding space for you. Do they lean into your hand when you pet them, or do they sometimes tense up a little? That tells you something.
Really pay attention to the way your cat responds to you when you are around them. Communication goes both ways, and you need to know what your cat is telling you so you how to best respond.
Each cat has their own language
Just like people, every cat has their own way of communicating, and their own language-within-a-language. Especially with their fellow family members, both feline and human. They know when you’re going for a toy, or getting the treats, and it’s likely something that just the two of you share.
There’s more of that going on than you probably realize. And the more you can observe and do consciously, the richer your relationship with your cat will be.
Try to spend some time every day, just enjoying your cat’s company and learning all their little quirks, blinks, and behaviors. Trust me, they’ll be learning the same thing about you.
I hope you’ve found this little lesson in speaking cat helpful! Have you used any of these techniques with your cat? Let me know in the comments.
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